How did your parents and family react?

Hey girls -

I was curious to know how your parents and/or other family reacted when they found out you have a hawk?
I just got my hair done 2 days ago. By the way I am 25 yrs old and live on my own with my bf, and not under my parents roof.
My grandparents are having their 55th anniversary party this weekend, and the plans were that my bf and I were going to attend it. We were going to go there with my parents.
Knowing this, I sucked it up and called my parents the night I got it done...I let them know that I have this new mohawk hairstyle, BUT that I don't plan on spiking it up and that I would wear it down around them and the family.
Their reaction? They were utterly shocked, upset, and immediately told me that I am not allowed to attend our family function this weekend! They hadn't even seen any pics of me or anything...just immediately banned me from going! I was so hurt :(
I tried calling my parents last night and that didn't get me anywhere. My mom could barely talk to me and threatened to hang up on me so we ended the call.

I wrote them a long email last night explaining everything out and sent them pics of my hair down, which I think makes a very cute short hairstyle for me. I just hope they read it and understand that I am still the same daughter I always have and a hairstyle won't change that.

I'm tempted to call my grandparents and let them know whats going on and see if my bf and I can visit them on another weekend, but I'm nervous about my grandmother. She's very judgmental just like my parents and I don't want to deal with a repeat issue..

I think as women, we have it harder when we choose to have a punked out hairstyle such as this. Especially when there are family members who are set in their ways that it isn't "ladylike or proper" for a woman to wear their hair in a mohawk style.

Anyway I was just wondering if anyone else had simular reactions as I did from their families and/or how you worked through them?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Barbiepueppchen on June 26, 2011 at 2:51pm

oh wow that's kinda like what a friend of mine and me did. She decided she wanted a hawk so i cut her a chelseahawk at lunch break..^^ parents didnt notice until she bleached it, dyed it green and pink and put it up lmao.

Permalink Reply by pierced_punked_kitten on August 30, 2009 at 12:23am

hah...wow, well it's been almost a year since I joined this forum and made this topic. And I still have my mohawk today...and my parents don't mind about it anymore. They are more upset over the fact I'm engaged to a man in prison...LOL go figure....

Permalink Reply by Pumpkinology on September 5, 2010 at 9:03pm

I am so sorry to hear your parents shunned you like that, and I'm totally sending you and everyone who's gone through something similar an internet hug over that. :( And I agree with you, a lot of times it feels like it's much harder being an alternative woman because we still have rock hard standards in our society for how we "should be."

When I first got mine over a year ago I had past shoulder length hair chopped into a deathhawk. My mom looked at me and said, "I don't like it, you know I hate it. But it's you, and you've never been afraid to be you." My dad joked with me about it and still does, but he's not trying to be hurtful or anything about it. They both would rather I left my hair to more natural styles and colors but they both love me and accept me (sometimes a little more slowly than others) for who I am.

Permalink Reply by Andreja Wilson on September 10, 2010 at 12:41am

When I first got my 'hawk, it wasn't shaved down to my scalp. My dad said it was ok, my mother just about died. I guess it's because my mother growing up in the 1950's has made her feel that way. A lot of black women identify themselves by their hair. Anything not of the norm in just plain wrong. But eventually, she sorta got used to it.

Now that it is shaved down to my scalp, my dad shook his head and all my mother does is complain to my dad about my hair. I told them if I hate it, I'll go get a wig!

Permalink Reply by Shon on October 5, 2010 at 9:32pm

I had shaved my head completely a few years ago to support someone who had cancer. I went to college and got my ears pierced for the first time, and when I went home my step dad flipped. My mom thought it was cute. Well since then I got 8 more piercings and lost 3 of them. Well with my hair, I recently shaved my head again cuz my aunt's going through cancer, I got sick of being bald and started growing it out into a mohawk. When my parents saw it, my mom just chuckled, tho I know she doesn't like it. My step dad was the one who was judgmental with everything I do. They're learning to keep quiet cuz it's not gonna change what I do. I thought my mom was gonna kill me when she found out I had tats. I know she doesn't like anything I do like that, but like I said they've learned that saying things wont change what I have done or will do.

Permalink Reply by Kelly Griggs on October 12, 2010 at 6:47pm

My mom took me someplace to get mine done, because no one I know owns clippers. She loved how it looked. My dad was shocked at first, but he got used to it. Everyone else in the family loved it. They said the bangs (it was a Chelseahawk) really complimented my face or something like that

Permalink Reply by Hailey on October 13, 2010 at 1:28pm

My parents had already kicked me out before I had gotten it, but ironically didn't seem to mind my new hair. My mom rolled her eyes. Haha. Living with my boyfriend's mom, and she keeps hinting at me to cut it. But I love my hair, and she hasn't got too many problems with it :3

Permalink Reply by GloIsInWonderland on October 13, 2010 at 5:14pm

i lived with my mom when i first got my mohawk. i think i was..17? i told her i was gonna do that and basically all she said was 'why?' i asked her to help me and she said 'hell no' so then i had my twin brother help me as much as he could but he couldn't completely help so then i ran to my mom and said something like 'he can't finish it and i can't leave it like this, you HAVE to help me!!!' she didn't want to, but she did. she's never said anything bad about it. she laughs when she sees it up. my dad first saw my hawk a few years later when i moved in with him. he calls me a rooster and laughs everytime i shave down the sides again. as for my work, i'm a caregiver and work in my sisters house so i can do whatever i like with my hair. she helps me dye it and spike it up when i ask. and my boyfriend, he loves it. he has a hawk too. he loves that we both have one :D my other brothers and sisters, they just call me crazy. but never any hurtful remarks. they know i'm gonna be me no matter what, and they accept whatever i do.

Permalink Reply by Haley on November 15, 2010 at 12:23pm

When I first got my hawk my mom wasnt too upset, that is, until i buzzed the sides down. I originally had about an inch or two on the sides just for the transition. She got pretty mad that she could see my scalp and told me that everytime i see her i have to wear a hat. Needless to say, I didnt see her much. She got over it in a couple of weeks though. most of my family love it or at least keep their opinions to themselves.

Permalink Reply by Chasity'sCunt on November 16, 2010 at 1:39am

^^ oh wow that sucks hun sorry to hear that

My parents are metal heads and mom told me "its your hair i dont give a fuck what you do with it " my dad said "i dont care". Well the rest of my family ...... my aunt is punk and the rest of em listen to rock so its nothing new or strange for them and they don't really care they've seen it all before and its just hair. I get judged more and told that i should grow out my hair more by strangers and teachers. They believe its "not right" for a girl to have her head shaved on the sides or to have a mohawk.

Permalink Reply by XD on November 16, 2010 at 4:49am

It was my mum who encouraged me to do it in the end. I've wanted to shave part of my hair for about a year, but was too nervous to make the actual move.
I have had colourful hair for the last 2 years, and am ready to go natural for a bit to let my hair recover, and she seemed a bit sad that I was going to look normal when i dyed it, so I finally shaved it, and love it!!

My sister has colourful synthetic dreads and shaved all her hair off a couple years ago, so she likes it.

The other family however will probably not like it very much, maybe even think im les. But their opinions are irrelevant

Permalink Reply by Boogle on April 24, 2011 at 4:06pm

horrible.

my grandfather told me that i "used to be beautiful".

my grandmother said "you're not a mohawk" like as if having a mohawk put you in some kind of untouchable social class.

my mom was upset.

my dad threatened to get me shitfaced and shave my head while i was passed out in my own vomit and write on my face with sharpie.

he also asked in front of my friends if i would ever get a job, a date with a guy, or be able to take out a loan when i get older (i dont fuckin know bahaha). and then my guy friends were like ".... I'd love to take your daughter out on date".

now my family is pretty chill about it... although my mom tends to complain about it in a settle way. like showing me other hairstyles that she thinks i should get etc etc.

My dad still kind of makes fun of me, he'll like bring it up whenever their friends are over and give me shit about it.

Its just something you have to get over, eventually the family will calm down. Some members of your family will take longer than others... and some will never get used to it and stop talking to you, later they will look back on it with regret.