Mohawks Rock

hey,im creating a new religion in school cos its too stifling for me there.some constructive ideas please? here are some of my notes.(oh and btw,if ur a religious person and dont like this at all, just leave. dont preach to me in that arrogant tone about how i'm going to burn in hell).

-my goddess will be in the shape of an octopus,and it'll be a goddess cos male gods are fucking mainstream.

-in the beggining,the universe is filled with black water,and orcalus lived there cos she was banished from the LAND of gods.(she's a water creature,she cant live on land)

-exilement is not excitement. my goddess(Orcalus is her name) decided to create something to while away Her time. Einstien said that nothing can be created out of nothing, so Orcalus morphed the black water into 8 massive spherical chunks of rocks,after her eight tentacles.(PLUTO IS NO LONGER A PLANET)(which is why our galaxy is filled with vaccuum now.)haha.filled with vaccuum.oxymoron.get it?

-Just as Orcalus has 3 hearts(an octopus has 3 hearts too btw), she favoured the third rock,and decided to give life to the third rock(earth).


i'll write the full story in a blog soon,and provide the link here,incase there are any potential followers. so,give me some ideas, and rebuff some of my more presposterous ideas.thanks >=D

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Seems pretty valid as religions go...someone has to start them sometime.

Does Orcalus have a dreadhawk?
nope, but he's super cool. when non-christians die, they burn in hell. when non-believers of my religion die, they get tickled by eight tentacles simultaneously, for eternity!!! HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!
That eternity thing always gets me...it's longer than dinner :/ So, now I have an image of Mr. Tickle as the deity in my head...but with eight arms...
Mr. Tickle seems like a potential sex offender.
LOL That's modern times for ya...
Well. I just love the octopus thing. Brilliant creatures, really.
Definitely more legit than Jesus.

I'm pretty sure that Jesus was just a vampire playing an epic joke on humanity. Like, the fucker gets the whole world to worship him, ressurects himself, and then convinces everyone to drink blood as a holy sacrament? Completely sane and believable.
Holy Ink baptisms?

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