The Rules! Of! Punk!

Thought punk didn't have rules, eh? You're wrong, fuckers! Punk is dead and all, so to bring it back we need to lay down the law and.eliminate the poseurs!

1. The number one rule of punk is that you are not punk. Do not, in any situation, refer to yourself as punk. Referring to yourself as punk is automatic grounds for your exclusion. From punk.
2. Everyone except you and your group of friends is a poseur. Not that you call yourself punk.
3. Every time you call someone else a poseur, you become that much more punk. Just don't fuck it up by going and admitting that you're punk. Poseur.
4. Pop-punk is no longer a subgenre of punk. The name pop-punk is now reserved to be used exclusively as an insult for bands that are poseurish.
5. If a band gets more than 500 fans, they are a pop-punk band.
6. Do not get a mohawk, dye your hair funny colors, wear bondage pants, or a studded jacket. This is known as trying too hard.
7. Any association with the store Hot Topic is poseurish. No exceptions.
8. Punk is dead. Shout this often.
9. Remember unity! Too bad everyone around you is such a fucking poseur or you'd have a use for it.
10. Be an asshole every chance you get. Everyone knows that "punk" is synonymous with "asshole". Prove them right!

Know any more rules? Tell me! Or don't. Poseurs.

(If you can't tell this post is a joke, so help me God...)

Comment by skunk on October 10, 2009 at 10:38am: rules and punk go together like a homosexuality and no color coordination...

Comment by Khaos on October 10, 2009 at 5:33pm: And the ability of people to control themselves and actually read is something rare, apparently.

REAL PUNX DONT READ. Only poseurs do.
BAH.

Comment by zero on October 10, 2009 at 7:29pm: TRU PUNX COMMENT FIRST AND READ NEVER
TRU PUNX.
TRU. PUNX.

TRU PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNX

Comment by Khaos on October 11, 2009 at 11:09am: RIOT

and only poseurs think punk isn't dead.

Comment by Dom on October 25, 2009 at 12:47pm: I realise this is old and stuff but anyway... I really wish you hadn't written that it was a joke at the bottom. It would have been so much funnier to watch all the idiots not get it. I luaghed.

Comment by Calvin Chaos on November 13, 2009 at 11:39pm: this reminds me of SLC punk lol

Comment by Mehoe lawd on November 20, 2009 at 4:08pm: this is funny [=
at first i thought it was a joke, but then i had second thoughts, and then i had third thoughts and realised it WAS a joke [=

Comment by Dead End Demon on November 23, 2009 at 2:04am: Haha, this reminds me of Fight Club... I'm not gonna lie, there for a minute, when I first saw the title of this, you threw me off guard, and I was like...oh gah, some douche who thinks they can define what punk is and isn't or some shit, but this is rather fuckin funny, but you have to remember, it's hard to inflect sarcasm over the interwebs, so lot's of people won't get it. Also because most people take things WAY to fucking seriously. Glad to know there's people who enjoy good old dry, sarcastic humor.

Comment by Scumbag and scuzz on November 25, 2009 at 10:52am: punks not fucking dead first of all and liveing bye fucking rules is being a fucking poseur that compleatly distroys the fact of being a "Punk" punks about rebelion and not giveing a fuck about what people think i know hundreds of punks who arent posers and wear studs and spikes and all that shit it makes no diffrent punks is a mind set its not a fashion or a set of fucking rules thats why punks slowly loseing people its because of people who live it bye rules and slowly get bored of them fuck i hate people that post shit like this and for all you people who are going to bitch back "I dont give a fuck"

PUNX NOT DEAD OI!!!