The Rules! Of! Punk!

Thought punk didn't have rules, eh? You're wrong, fuckers! Punk is dead and all, so to bring it back we need to lay down the law and.eliminate the poseurs!

1. The number one rule of punk is that you are not punk. Do not, in any situation, refer to yourself as punk. Referring to yourself as punk is automatic grounds for your exclusion. From punk.
2. Everyone except you and your group of friends is a poseur. Not that you call yourself punk.
3. Every time you call someone else a poseur, you become that much more punk. Just don't fuck it up by going and admitting that you're punk. Poseur.
4. Pop-punk is no longer a subgenre of punk. The name pop-punk is now reserved to be used exclusively as an insult for bands that are poseurish.
5. If a band gets more than 500 fans, they are a pop-punk band.
6. Do not get a mohawk, dye your hair funny colors, wear bondage pants, or a studded jacket. This is known as trying too hard.
7. Any association with the store Hot Topic is poseurish. No exceptions.
8. Punk is dead. Shout this often.
9. Remember unity! Too bad everyone around you is such a fucking poseur or you'd have a use for it.
10. Be an asshole every chance you get. Everyone knows that "punk" is synonymous with "asshole". Prove them right!

Know any more rules? Tell me! Or don't. Poseurs.

(If you can't tell this post is a joke, so help me God...)

Comment by Khaos on April 23, 2009 at 12:19am: You're just adam ;-) mohawked maseusse (here is hoping I remotely spelled it right) haha

I honestly can't call myself anything. I'm a good fit as a "go-between" (cookies to all who get the reference). But it definitely works for my situation :-D

Comment by Josh Pepe on April 28, 2009 at 1:29pm: wow...Hmmm punk is sorta loosly defined , personally i think the poseur think is thrown around a little too often , i do however agree with khaos on what defines a poseur , meow...I think if someone is a hottopic shopper that their evil fucked up stupid and fake , but who cares about hair and clothes punk s not about image....meow...

Comment by Khaos on April 28, 2009 at 10:52pm: lol, I can tell you the kids who shop at my store aren't trying to be punks...and frankly are afraid of punks. they are wanna be metalcore kids or whatever that new wave is.

fuck that shit.
OIIIII! bahahah

Comment by James on May 2, 2009 at 2:02pm: Josh Pepe sure seems like a fake profile. all the images are from google. at least find some punk guys myspace and steal all his pics if you want to pretend to be someone

Comment by Raine on June 23, 2009 at 1:24pm: Lol, cheers to layin down the law. x]

Comment by Khaos on June 24, 2009 at 12:12am: Cheers!

Chris, the asshole point. LOVE IT.

Comment by Dark Syra on June 24, 2009 at 1:11am: If you don't know the origin of Punk 'real punk', all time original und music then you are a poseur.
If there's no recollection of The Stooges in one's...you are a poseur, that is unless you know :

If you could see... oh God, fuck off...
Ayanlouisiannayaya New Orleans
Awasabadababyanalittle key
Ayainanananananana Johnny B. Goode
Agogogogogogo Johnny B. Goode
Agogo, go Johnny, gogogogogo
I don't know the words!
Gogogogogogogogogogogyogyuh
Ayayayayastrah yayastrahyayaya
Ayayayayastrah andabanayaya
I wannawannabay, yayayaya
Let's gogo, ago Johnny gogogogo
Agogo, go go go go gogogogogogogogogogogogogogo
Go, Johnny, go, go
Go! Johnny B. Goode
(heheheheeaaa)
und you think im crazy.......