The Rules! Of! Punk!

Thought punk didn't have rules, eh? You're wrong, fuckers! Punk is dead and all, so to bring it back we need to lay down the law and.eliminate the poseurs!

1. The number one rule of punk is that you are not punk. Do not, in any situation, refer to yourself as punk. Referring to yourself as punk is automatic grounds for your exclusion. From punk.
2. Everyone except you and your group of friends is a poseur. Not that you call yourself punk.
3. Every time you call someone else a poseur, you become that much more punk. Just don't fuck it up by going and admitting that you're punk. Poseur.
4. Pop-punk is no longer a subgenre of punk. The name pop-punk is now reserved to be used exclusively as an insult for bands that are poseurish.
5. If a band gets more than 500 fans, they are a pop-punk band.
6. Do not get a mohawk, dye your hair funny colors, wear bondage pants, or a studded jacket. This is known as trying too hard.
7. Any association with the store Hot Topic is poseurish. No exceptions.
8. Punk is dead. Shout this often.
9. Remember unity! Too bad everyone around you is such a fucking poseur or you'd have a use for it.
10. Be an asshole every chance you get. Everyone knows that "punk" is synonymous with "asshole". Prove them right!

Know any more rules? Tell me! Or don't. Poseurs.

(If you can't tell this post is a joke, so help me God...)

Comment by Khaos on March 22, 2009 at 7:09pm: If you shout Oi! you're a poseur and you try to hard.

Comment by Torchure on March 23, 2009 at 3:55pm: haha, awesome

Comment by Jazzi on March 23, 2009 at 8:50pm: What the fuck. I don't think there are or should be a fucking list of rules to being "punk". The whole fucking POINT of "punk" is to defy authority and faschist fucking pigs. If you have rules, you are under some authority. And where there is authority, there is usually some form of government.
Also, if you are going to sit there and tell someone what they can and can't do with their life, that makes YOU a fucking piece of shit.

Nice try though.

Comment by Jazzi on March 23, 2009 at 8:52pm: Oh! And also, you say not to call yourself punk because therefore you are a poser blah blah blah....then why would you sit there and write a list of things that make you punk/not punk?
dude. get a fucking hobby.

Comment by zero on March 23, 2009 at 9:33pm: From the bottom of the post: "(If you can't tell this post is a joke, so help me God...)"

Nice try, though.

Comment by zero on March 23, 2009 at 9:36pm: And I mean, I really hate to comment on my own blog twice in a row, but I'm pretty sure I was laying on the sarcasm pretty thick(ly?) throughout the entire post...and so was everyone else who commented.

Comment by Segadoway on March 24, 2009 at 2:31am: every punk must get drunk and takes drugs regularly, if you dont you are a poseur.

Comment by bubblegum on March 24, 2009 at 6:40am: If you can't tell this post is a joke, so help me God...I think it could be argued that something like this should be put in bold print.
Oh, and, If you associate with emo kids at all you can't be a punk you're obviously like them and therefore a poseur.