The Rules! Of! Punk!

Thought punk didn't have rules, eh? You're wrong, fuckers! Punk is dead and all, so to bring it back we need to lay down the law and.eliminate the poseurs!

1. The number one rule of punk is that you are not punk. Do not, in any situation, refer to yourself as punk. Referring to yourself as punk is automatic grounds for your exclusion. From punk.
2. Everyone except you and your group of friends is a poseur. Not that you call yourself punk.
3. Every time you call someone else a poseur, you become that much more punk. Just don't fuck it up by going and admitting that you're punk. Poseur.
4. Pop-punk is no longer a subgenre of punk. The name pop-punk is now reserved to be used exclusively as an insult for bands that are poseurish.
5. If a band gets more than 500 fans, they are a pop-punk band.
6. Do not get a mohawk, dye your hair funny colors, wear bondage pants, or a studded jacket. This is known as trying too hard.
7. Any association with the store Hot Topic is poseurish. No exceptions.
8. Punk is dead. Shout this often.
9. Remember unity! Too bad everyone around you is such a fucking poseur or you'd have a use for it.
10. Be an asshole every chance you get. Everyone knows that "punk" is synonymous with "asshole". Prove them right!

Know any more rules? Tell me! Or don't. Poseurs.

(If you can't tell this post is a joke, so help me God...)

Comment by chris rife on January 26, 2010 at 7:38pm: Fuck all you little poser bitches that are saying punk is dead. although i agree u shouldn't say that your punk, because who r u 2 decide what's punk and what's not, punk isn't dead. and if you can proove me wrong...(dramatic pause)...i'll cut off my mohawk.

Comment by Nathan on January 28, 2010 at 8:55am: lol! Great read, love it.

Comment by Jonathan Gamboa on February 13, 2010 at 11:04pm: i know its totally off topic but chekc this out please.. its wild just take a few mins to look at and read ALL of it this is truely fucked up
http://thepowerhour.com/911_analysis/report.htm

Comment by Jonathan Gamboa on February 13, 2010 at 11:07pm: http://www.911inplanesite.com/bomb_threat.html

Comment by bombshell from hell on February 15, 2010 at 5:59pm: this list is ridiculous...

Comment by Cock Sparrer on March 9, 2010 at 7:10pm: If punks dead, I dont know what the hell I've been listening to for the past few years.

Comment by Brett Alan Spencer on September 6, 2010 at 7:01pm: that sorta reminds me of steve-os rant in slc punk when he has a go at posers and the sex pistols