[Public Diary] - The Saint Who Struck Out

Well, it's finally happened.
"I have moved on."
I say these words to myself with a seething anger, a tinge of disgust...
I have waited, patiently for so long...I have given every benefit of the doubt. I have even made a fool of myself to his family and friends ONLY because he gave me a reason to stay.


My last message was sent, today. It said simply :
____________________________________________________________

Are you still ignoring me?
Just wondering, i miss you.
____________________________________________________________
And no reply came. So, I'm done. I've BEEN done.
I've been trying to tell you, "I'm here. Come get me. I'm waiting for you. I love you." (not literally, of course.)

To anyone else, that's an obvious green light. To you, it must not be.
So either you're really blind or you've lost all interest in having any relationship with me.
Either way, I can't make you see it. and I can't make you change your mind. So here, again, is the phrase "I'm done."


Your step-mother once told me "[he]..will only take it so far. He'll let you push and push until he's had enough, and then he closes off for good."
Well, that same thing has happened, dear.
I have let this go on for way longer than I should have, and now, I'm ready for a more mature relationship.

I yearn for a kindred soul that I can share countless cigerettes/joints with...that I can talk to for hours on end....laughing about the stupidest things.
Someone who never ceases to amaze me.
Someone like you once were, to me.
If I can find someone who is as wonderful as you were to me, I've found my soulmate. lol

I'm ready to move on.
I'm sorry.
"Sometimes goodbye is a second chance"