Why don't you have a Mohawk?

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Permalink Reply by Skate Punk on September 22, 2010 at 6:32pm

just do it. you know you best

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Permalink Reply by Hex on September 23, 2010 at 4:25pm

AAAAhhhhh, the age old question of to hawk or not to hawk.....



I'm thirty. About ten years ago my mother and I opened a business together. The atmosphere is business/professional office...think insurance agency, lawyers, accountants....as one would expect, we do have a dress code here. We and our employees are expected to wear business casual. Since I seem to be eternally the youngest person here, I always try look a little more dressy than business casual.....I believe whatever I do trickles down, so if I look like crap, my employees will look worse (and this idea seems to be true....I don't allow gossip or backstabbing, nor do I engage in it....despite an office full of nothing but ladies, there is no gossip or back stabbing, we truly work as a team.)

First, a little backstory about mom and I....
There's a cartoon in the papers here...I forget the name, but one particular strip I cut out and saved....It shows the girl child at the beauty shop, obviously getting her hair done. Next panel is her exclaming to her mother how much she loves her new purple hair and her mother telling her how hip it looks. The next strip shows happy mom and daughter walking thru the mall....As they pass an older woman you see her "thought cloud" exclaiming to her self "What sort of mother woudl let her child do that?!!?". The last panel shows daughter saying to mom "mom, thank you so much for my hair, you are the best mom ever!"
That pretty much sums up me and my mom. When I was in Jr. high (aged 12-14) my mother and I had so so so many spats because I wasn't going to keep wearing the (awful) clothing she picked me. Thankfully, I had the sense then to nicely tell her when we weren't arguing "mom, i know you pay for this stuff, and I'm grateful I have a mom who gets me new clothes, but these polo khakis are not for me" My mom, who grew up pretty poor, had always wanted to be part of the "preppy cheerleader" crowd. So of course, she got a daughter who was more interested in writing essays on how we are forced into gender stereotypes too young (ie..girls cheered, guys did football). I wanted to wear all black and big boots, not the expensive khaki's and carigan sets she loved. Some how I got lucky and got a good mom who relized she was projecting on to her kid what she wanted, not what kid wanted. So as long as I my grades were good and I wasn't slutty looking, mom stopped caring what I wore...and I was willing to dress her way for stuff like family pictures, important functions......Mom was even nice enough to drive me into the closest city to buy Manic Panic (back in the day there were no Sally's or Hot Topics!).

And then it happened. I finished college and had to figure out how to support myself! I got the nicest normal (yes, khakis) I could afford and made my hair normal looking. And I worked for a while when mom decided she wanted us to open a place together. I jumped at the chance as I've always had issues with authority and stupid people...and seemed to be working around nothing but both. And thus for the rest of my twenties I passed, for hte first time since I was a small child, for normal. Honestly, the novelty of this still amuses me.

About two years ago, I went thru a relationship from hell. I came out the other side angry, bitter, and terrified. I'd always been a big flirt. It was common for me to intidate guys (usually un intentionally)...but after two years of abuse and living with an addict, my confidence and sexuality were gone. I wanted to be as ugly and unattractive as possible and I wanted to feel tough again. An old friend suggested I put a mohawk in, he remembered me as a crazy teen who didn't take sh*t from anyone....So I went on line and studied all the pics I could find of chelsea hawks. I found a great stylist who understood that I was trying to straddle two worlds...my day world of running a professional business where I needed people to trust me to talk to them about their money, and my night world of unheard of shows at tiny dive bars. He managed to cut me a style that, with proper scarf/headband placement, appeared to be a short bob do....and with some styling gunk and a hair dryer, is as good a hawk as the kids at the shows. (and I slowly found myself again...although I'm with a great guy now, I still don't know if I'll ever get all of "me" back).

The issue was Mom. I see her everyday and we are partners. She was shocked when I came into work with such a short bob (my hair had been one length a little below my shoulders). She ranted and raved about how much prettier I was with long hair, etc etc etc etc etc.....Finally I told her that I needed this change, I was trying to put big breaks between me and the very recent past (which she understood). I never told her that the sides of my head were shaved.....A few weeks later I was chatting with my uncle (her brother) online and sent him pics of my new hair....because I knew he'd tell mom and I wouldn't have to! Sure enough, a few days later mom comes into my office before the employees arrived for the day and told me how much my uncle said he liked my hair.....she wasn't mad about the hair, but mad I hadn't told her..that was out of character for me not to tell her since we are very close. But at that time I wasn't doing much that was in character for me. So that morning I removed my scarf and bobby pins and showed her a few phone pics of it up.

she hated it. however, she agreed it didn't violate our work policies. I kept it for almost the next year. I've let it grow for a while just because I was tired of it... but when I showed her the shaved sides.....well, i've only seen that look on her face once before and that was when she had to bail me out of jail!

I'm lucky my mom is just laid back and loves me despite me not being a "normal". If it were up to me, I'd dye my hair purple again right now.....but it is a matter of wanting my business to do well and in my industry people do not have purple hair. So I put my business first right now.

If you are still living at home, maybe try to find a compromise with your mom. Not because you are giving up ground, but because you are mature enough to realize that when you live with some one (room mate, parents, wife, etc) that compromise is necessary for everyone's mental well being. Maybe consider getting a chelsea style hawk that when down, if styled right, just looks like a short hair cut. I have an awesome mom who compromised with me...i got good grades, she let me look how i wanted. Imagine you mom decided to have a rhino horn implanted on her forhead...you'd think it was weird and probably have a hard time looking at her normally for a while.....but if she was willing to get a gold unicorn horn, you might be more comfortable with it..bad example, but you get the idea. Your mom's feelings are waaaay more important than hair, plus if you are living under someone else's roof you just get stuck with their rules...Talk to her and see how she feels about a "bob" cut. If your mom is a traditionalist that feels all women should have long hair, you may just have to wait until you are on your own. Just ease her into it slowly...hell, at 13, I only died a few pieces purple...I didn't do whole head until I was 15! Gave her time to get used to it.


Good Luck!

(and I'm about to re do my hawk....except I don't want to sport a bob cut and I really miss crazy color...so I'm planning to buy a half wig and see if I can still keep my professional side separate from my personal life!!!)

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Permalink Reply by Russell scott Ash on September 24, 2010 at 11:05am

freedom is awesome mohawks are so liberating be yourself thats all yu can bee

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Permalink Reply by Khaos on September 25, 2010 at 2:58pm

Hair does grow back...! I think sometimes, the diversity helps you grow and become a stronger person. What about styling it into a mohawk and tying up the sides for a while to see how it looks and get her used to it?

My mom didn't talk to me for a long time after I shaved my head the first time. She did get over it. Talks shit to me about my hair but acts all proud to her friends. But I just got it cut off. Dead, uneven, it bothered me. Didn't want shitty looking hair for engagement photos. Had it since I was in high school! =(

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