What did Stephanie Meyer Do wrong?

Ok, for starters, She broke Vampire taboo, which you can't do as a new writer. MAYBE stephen king coulda TRIED to do it, but he woulda been blammed for it.
1)Vampires can't go into sunlight without catching fire/exploding/turning to dust
2)Vampires can't fuck. No heartbeat= no blood to get a stiffy
3)If they did get their limp ol' weiner in there, they couldn't get anyone preggers. No blood to keep sperm warm, therefore he's sterile as a fucking anvil.
4)The sun NEVER shines in Forks (the name of the town it takes place in)??? That isn't even an excuse! Vampires immediately become unconscious at the break of dawn.

Feel free to add more!

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Du_can The Tu_can on July 14, 2009 at 9:58pm

what bothers me most right now, is that there's a banner advertising Twilight apparel and collectible shit in this chat. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

Permalink Reply by Wolf Madchen on October 22, 2010 at 9:57am

Ever notice how the fans of this usually fall into certain categories or stereotypes?

1. the fat girl who never could get lovin' ( Edward will love me, herp derp, Im so desperate)
2. the preteen ( I can't think on my own, and everyone else thinks it's cool)
3. the middle aged woman ( No one has come near my vagina in 20 yrs, Imma be a cougar and fawn over these young actors)
4. I'm sure there are more but I just woke up haha...

But my point proven, the fans go apeshit over some idiot's wet dream about mythical creatures fighting over possibly the most unattractive bland girl ever. It's written at a 4th grade reading level, c'mon people! Ugghhh, makes me so angry.

Permalink Reply by Kiki Wanderer on October 26, 2010 at 7:26pm

The biggest thing wrong with Stephanie Meyer's books are the way she writes their relationship. It's abusive to the extreme; not only is Edward *always* there (ie. watching her while she sleeps), but he controls every aspect of her life, from school to work to when she can become a vampire. The whole marriage/pregnancy/child vampire thing was highly unrealistic and hard to believe, and was so wrong in so many ways. I haven't bothered to watch the movies; the books were so horrible there's no point. The only one I kept was the first, and just so that I could deconstruct it into something beautiful.

Permalink Reply by Ghetto Gutter Shock. on October 28, 2010 at 10:50am

I agree totaly! It is so sad that they are iconing an abusive relationship....Teenage girls are wishing they get to be controlled and young boys think its okay to totaly control their girls life....SO WRONG, in so many ways...That was what I had noticed first about this series, and was mortified by the teenage love for a messed up love triangle...

Permalink Reply by Sugarcube on October 26, 2010 at 7:45pm

The main thing that's wrong with this stupid story (IMO) is it's about a young woman who has to choose between necrophilia/pedophilia and beastiality. Ew.

Also Edward isn't a vampire. He sparkles and lives in the forest and doesn't eat people. Clearly he is a fairy.

Permalink Reply by Charlie on October 27, 2010 at 1:38pm

What does Smyers do wrong?

Well, she SHITS all over the feminist movement, for one. Women are all supposed to be bay makers, live only for their husbands, allow their husbands to abuse and control them and never question it, get married immediately after high school and get angry when someone dare suggests she go to college, and allow their husbands to rape them into unconsciousness.

Also, join the Mormon faith. Magic underwear is the bestest.

When new writers push the envelope and go at an old idea with a new angle, THEY NEED TO KNOW HOW TO WORK IT. Trashy teen vampire romance novels have been out for years. The concept is nothing new. But vegetarian-fucking-sparkling vampires? I'm a real life fucking vegetarian and a huge Angel fan, and I think this is RETARDED. One of the key vampire mythos is that they can't go into the sun because it will kill them. Because they can't be exposed to the light of God's sun that gives life to all things on earth. Vampires are supposed to be demons, almost the antithesis of God. Not his little fucking mennonites.

She also can't write worth a shit. Her writing style is terrible, and I think the thesaurus she abused for writing her "books" hung itself afterwards. I'm also fairly certain that the only reason she got an English degree in the first place is because all of her professors felt so sorry for her complete lack of understanding of the English language that they her slide right on through.

There's millions of versions of vampire lore out there, and kudos to any writer than can shine a new light on the vampire and come up with something original and captivating. Smeyers? she didn't do this. She appealed to the boring, insecure preteen inside millions of girls across the country. She found the broadest target audience she could and ran with it. she stumbled and fumbled and tripped all along the way, but god, she went for it.

I agree. She needs to be taken out back and shot. On live television.

Permalink Reply by Max on October 27, 2010 at 11:38pm

I actually read a chapter out of the book, and i am amazed at how many people fell in love with such terrible writing techniques. Funny how I imagined how stephanie meyers looked, and when i searched her on google images and BAM almost exactly what i thought she'd look like. A 40 year old version of the girl who sits in class reading about realistic fiction romance.

Permalink Reply by Sugarcube on October 27, 2010 at 11:41pm