I'm just looking for encouragement.

So basically, my life became a shitstorm in the past 8 or so months. About since late September to mid October 09. I just got rid of the cause of the problem. It was my boyfriend, who was an inconsiderate asshole. He caused me to drop outta college, total my car and almost ruined most of my friendships and my relationship with my parents. The only good thing that came of this is that I am now confident and outgoing whereas I used to hide in a corner and avoid human contact.

He told me I could cheat on him on numerous occasions. One of which I
was asking him if he had cheated on me at a party we'd both been at,
where he'd gone missing with a girl numerous times. He treated everyone
else in my life like they were evil - even my parents - he yelled at
them! He begged me to keep him all three times I tried to leave him, and the third - successful time, he tried to kill himself and basically stalked me for a week and a half. He treated me like dirt and controlled me constantly, I mean complete strangers were kinder to me, and it was pathetic. He even stalked the websites I go on, which was why I wasn't on here for a while.

So now I am rebuilding my life and my friendships. It hasn't started well though. First I was numb, to the point where I slept with a friend who has a girlfriend and one of my coworkers. I didn't eat for a week, and now I can barely eat and it is so bad that I am really sick now. I couldn't cry at all until today, and then it was just a few mere tears. I am using pot and alcohol to keep me going, and I know that isn't healthy. Especially when I am so young and am already unhealthy. I lost 15 lbs, and it's only been two and a half weeks, and I didn't weigh much to begin with.

I know I can fix my life, and I know I can find someone nice for me that is actually kind to me and worth my time. I just need to have a bit of encouragement, because I feel asthough I am in a deep deep deep hole with no way out..

So that was a long rant.
/rant.