Funny drunk off your ass stories

Ok, so I recently got so goddamn drunk at a show and caused so much trouble and didn't even remember it. The only reason I know it happened was because someone texted me what happened the next day. This is a summed-up version of the texts.

The first text was a co-worker who was at the show asking how I was doing and how I got home.

me: I'm all good. I don't remember fuckin hellbastard and I wish I did. I don't remember much at all really. I crashed on Brandon's couch. I was too drunk to bike.

My co-worker then explained that I didn't even see hellbastard. I had apparently gotten so drunk that I acted as if the 2 person pit was the most intense thing I had even encountered. After getting too many people pissed off my co-worker had to hold me up. I then took hold of a support beam and continuously smashed my head into it until I had a very bloody head. Then I just wouldn't stop screaming at nothing. Everyone started yelling at me because I was being too obnoxious for the band to introduce the next song. I then began to try to attack the vocalist to a local band that was playing. He kept pushing me back in hopes that I'd stop trying and the show could go on. I didn't so he ended up having to kick me to the ground. I guess he kicked me in the back, cuz it hurts like crazy.

me: HOLY SHIT! DUDE I NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO THE GUY! He's a cool guy and I'd hate for there to be hostility between us. Do you have his number?

My co-worker didn't have his number. He explained that he knew I wasn't honestly mad at him or anything and knew that I was just drunk off my ass.

him: He had to [kick you] cuz u kept trying to thrash him. thats when devin and i had to escort you away. haha then antonio poured more beer in ur mouth

I was taken outside but soon disappeared. Apparently I had gone inside and crashed on the guy's couch. I woke up and Brandon as well as 2 guys from hellbastard look at me, start laughing and say "He's waking up!" I didn't even ask what happened. I just assumed that everything went ok with the show. We then watched some random music videos (mostly country) making fun of them until we went to sleep. I somehow remembered to set my alarm clock on my phone before going to sleep since I had to work the next morning.

After waking up the next morning and going to work I received all those texts explaining what had happened. I even went to a local metal and punk store and people kept saying things like "Behave from now on" and shit like that.

I was told that it wasn't really Tim (the guy I was trying to attack) who was mad at me, it was people in the crowd. They just wanted to watch the show but I kept delaying it.

Lesson learned: Never drink a shitload before going to a show and drink another shitload.

So yeah, tell me about your funny drunken adventures/mischief.